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Posts Tagged ‘Zeus’

Dad-Era Top 10 Rules Dancefloor For All Eternity

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009


Pic: Rienchien

Sisyphus, first king of Corinth, now there was a man who couldn’t be trusted. Seduced his niece, killed travelers and guests, and betrayed the secrets of Zeus, CEO of Mount Olympus.

Zeus was particularly unamused by the secrets bit (incest and random killing being something of a way of life in those days). Worst of all, Sisyphus thought himself smarter than Zeus, and CEO’s feel threatened by that.

So Zeus delegated some middle-management gods to inflict a suitable punishment. Every day, Sisyphus had to push an enormous rock up a steep hill. Every time he got near the top, it would roll back down, and he’d have to start again.

Over and over, every day. Forever.

When you know that nothing’s going to change, ever, it breaks your spirit.

Which raises the question: what have we, the conference-goers, done wrong to be condemned for all eternity to dance to the music of the late 70’s and early 80’s?

Hang on, Mister Opinionated Blog Man. What does this have to with presentations?

Well, a cluster of presentations is a conference. And a conference always has a gala dinner, which has a band. And no matter where you are - you could be at the Goat Herd Management Conference at the Kabul Sheraton - that band will still play exactly the same songs. Specifically:

1.    Nutbush City Limits
2.    Blame it on the Boogie
3.    Celebration
4.    All Night Long
5.    Leave Your Hat On
6.    The Time Warp
7.    Dancing Queen
8.    Old Time Rock’n’Roll
9.    Mustang Sally
10.  YMCA

I lived through those songs the first time, and they were horrible then. Now they refuse to die, and pushing a rock up a hill looks like quite a decent alternative.

There’s been a quarter century of perfectly good dance music made since Joe Cocker hung his hat up, but you won’t hear any of it at your gala dinner.

I’m not one for global conspiracy theories, but can I suggest there’s a secret Gala Dinner Music Tribunal made up of David Brent / Michael Scott-type guys who meet once a year to iron out the playlist.

“Yeah, YMCA! Love that, reminds me of my pre hair transplant days. It stays for another year.”

And so the memo goes out to all the party bands of the world – stick to the designated Top 10 or get their entertainment license revoked.

I call upon the conference managers of Gen Y to rise up and purge the playlist of these crusty relics. Viva revolucion!

We’ll get back to PowerPoint tips soon, promise.