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Posts Tagged ‘valuaction’

Beat MBA’s with Top 10 New Jargon Words

Monday, April 13th, 2009


Pic Thinkpanama

Do you work among MBA’s with their PowerPoint ‘decks’ and smug secret language?

Want to play them at their own game?

Here at the Scene Change Institute, we’ve created 10 totally new jargon words for you to ‘bring to the table’.

None of them mean a damn thing, but in practical terms neither does ‘seamless integration’.

Just drop a few of these into the conversation, and you’re on your way to a corner office.

1. Deliverage
“It’s about getting more leverage over the deliverables. We call it deliverage.”

2. Robustify
“We’re going to robustify some key product offerings.”

3. Optisizing
“We’re optisizing the human component of our assets next Friday.”

4. Wincentivation
“Win-win is the old paradigm. We’re all about wincentivation.”

5. Paradignamic
“We’re entering a new, paradignamic phase of supply chain scalability.

6. Twittercentric
“Deliveraging the first genuine platform of Twittercentric solutions.”

7. Key driver-driven
“There are key drivers at work here, and we’re a key driver-driven business.”

8. Knowing forward
“It’s not just about going forward. To really value add, we have to be knowing forward.”

9. Fully benchparked
“The leading provider of fully benchparked Web 2.0 deliverables.”

“Cut to the chase, Jim. What’s our valuaction on this one going forward?”